The Date Indian Giver

I was recently asked out by a bartender/just got his college degree/ NOT AN ACTOR (thank God) from one of my favorite spots in LA. After five months of endless flirting, wearing my best outfits every time I went in, showing off my legs (hey, that’s all I got) as much as I can, thinking what the hell is wrong with this guy (??) and starting to get exhausted, He FINALLY asked if I would like to get a drink. Exactly one year without being asked out by someone who’s not a creeper, I was so looking forward to it. Getting to know him over the last few months, one beer at a time, I learned that he’s nice, polite, attentive (always knows when to bring me another drink) and somewhat funny. Not overly funny, to where it would compete with my funny, but funny enough to not bore me to death. He seems just normal, which in this town is a hot commodity.

I eagerly (hello 5 months) responded to his timid asking out with a valley girl YES! and began the waiting process. This to me is always the worst part. You got the awkward asking out, out of the way and are excited for the first date, but the in between waiting for him to call (or as the kids are doing these days, texting) is the worst. I start to get all wrapped up in my head. The last 2 boyfriends I had actually called the next day, which is why they ended up as my BF. None of this Swinger’s 3 days crap. They were interested, so they called. Like it. So I proceeded to patiently wait for him to call and/or text. More hoping he would call over a text, because my generation is not used to the “text courting”. So after a few days of “Did he call, did he call” from everyone I know I started to get a bit worried. A week went by without a peep so I naturally started to ask EVERY guy I know if this is normal. Of course it doesn’t help that every guy I know is my age, and we come from the generation of calling in a timely manner. So they were all a bit confused as well (not a good sign when a guy doesn’t understand another guy) I started to think all kinds of crazy things, like did he lose my number? Did he die? What the hell was going on? Is this what the kids are doing now a days? (Did I fail to mention he is lots younger than me, um by like 8 years?) Is two weeks the new Swingers 3 days? If so, how does anyone date? You give someone your number and then completely forget they exist in the meantime so by the time they do call you’re like, who is this? After a week and a half I decided it was time to write him off and began to figure out how I could still go to my favorite spot and not look like a stalking creeper, maybe I could wear a mask? While I was shopping at the year round Halloween store for my disguise he texted. A two text text, the kind where it’s so long that the 2nd text comes in before the first so you immediately get confused cause all you see is the first word of the 2nd text. In this case I saw “unfortunately” first. Um, NOT GOOD. I get a sinking feeling and debate if I even want to read the whole thing. Of course I do because I’m a glutton for punishment and by this point actually think my dating life (or lack thereof) is just getting so ridiculously funny, that nothing really will shock me. It says this” I know we are supposed to get a drink, and I would love to cause you seem wonderful (kiss of dead *not in text*) but unfortunately at this time I can’t. I am going through a tough time and cannot get into something” ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Really???? What the hell does that mean? Are you married? Are you going through a divorce? Are you fathering a child by an ex GF? What could that possibly mean? My first instinct was to ignore it (cause that’s what I do best) and just find a new place to go for my beer and hamburgers, but after a few minutes of mixed emotions (mainly anger and confusion) I decided that what he was doing was actually very mature and somewhat refreshing. I have been so used to guys never calling, or dating someone for a month just to have them fall of the planet without the respected, “hey I don’t think we should see each other anymore” I’m constantly playing the guessing game with men, so for him to let me know that he is not in a position to hang out instead of blowing me off, or better yet hanging out with me, getting involved and then when feelings are there, drop me like a hot potato, was kinda rad. I had a feeling of respect for a man that I’ve never had before. So I replied with “That’s too bad, I was looking forward to it, but thank you for telling me. It’s quite refreshing. Let me know when your situation changes and we can get that drink”. Totally mature back. I was actually very impressed with myself. So now every time I go into my favorite bar, I can look him in the eye, give him a high five and drink my favorite beer without a feeling of embarrassment or wonder even if he is a date Indian giver (I know, not PC but I was raised in the 80’s).