Every Guy Thinks They're Vince Vaughn

My weekend ended with me sitting on the couch, drinking wine and enjoying (for the millionth time) Wedding Crashers. Within the first 15 minutes of the movie watching Vince Vaughn do what he does best (Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me), it dawned on me. I have been told by many men on many different dates, that they in fact “are funny like Vince Vaughn”

The first time this was ever “declared” to me, I didn’t really know how to respond. I think I said something like “really?” As in really you’re telling me this like it’s a well know fact? And really you think this of yourself and just said it out loud? My first instinct was to say “Ya I’m sure you are. Aren’t all men?” all stupid girl wide eyed, but instead I took it with a grain of salt and thought maybe this one guy was lame enough to really think he was funny like VV and to say it out loud. The second time I heard it was on another first date (mind you they never get past the first date) and it was said to me like the first guy, like it was a well-known fact and in deed all women love funny guys so there for you will fall madly in love with me cause I’m “funny like VV” I mean, where the crap do they get this stuff? Are people telling them this? And if so who are these people? Is it an ex-girlfriend? Is it their buddy’s during a night of drinking after they stick celery sticks up their nose? Or does EVERY man just think they are funny like Vince Vaughn?

It’s also always the men that actually are NOT AT ALL funny. The kind of man that has the sense a humor of a 12 year old boy. Who still laughs at farts and like I said previous, sticks celery up their nose.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a fart joke but to me that’s just not funny. It’s not Vince Vaughn funny. Vince Vaughn has the ability to be funny without even really trying that hard. His facial expressions are enough for me to laugh for a straight 15 minutes. He has this wit that can’t even be explained, yet is so cool in Swingers that he really made funny hot.

But here’s the thing, Not only are these men thinking that are funny like Vince Vaughn but they are expressing it. Out loud. To other human beings. And in these said dates, how do you keep a straight face upon hearing this? For me, being funny and having really funny friends (yes my guys friends are really VV funny) this kind of claim isn’t gonna fly with me. And the first moment you are surrounded by my friends that actually are funny, you will be eaten alive.

I mean I hear frequently that I look like Jennifer Aniston, but hello I’m not going around on dates announcing to men with a drink in hand, “Did you know I look just like Jennifer Aniston?? Yeah, I’m totally as hot as her” I mean COME ON! And PS, I know I’m totally not hot like Aniston, I just have a few features that resemble her (like the nose).

So here ya go men, the jig is up. NO you are not as funny as Vince Vaughn, nor will you ever be. So stop thinking it and for the love of God, STOP saying it. Yes women love funny men, I would take that over looks any day and I have in fact dated a VV funny guy. But here’s the thing, those guys are few and far between and the funniest of guys certainly don’t claim it on a first date.